The How-To's of Loving Relationships

What Is Love?

Love is accepting all that is without judgment. It's believing there is a divine purpose and source that binds us all. Love is the opposite of fear. Love makes us feel at peace. Love is truly the answer to neutralizing everything negative in life.

How can I create love when my mind keeps dwelling on unloving thoughts?

You can create love by thinking kind thoughts, by speaking kind words, and by doing kind deeds. If your mind is constantly racing, or unwanted thoughts continually pop into your head, keep your mind focused on a project that is important to you. Do things to keep your mind from dwelling on the negative by listening to pleasant music or reading an uplifting book. If something has upset you and you have trouble feeling or generating love, try picking up your pet and giving them affection, or looking through photographs of happy times. Reminisce about a time when you felt very loved and happy. Call up someone who you know will give you positive support. Avoid reading or watching programs that promote fear and negativity. The more you fill your mind with positive thoughts, the easier it will be to let go of the negative ones.

How can I love myself when I keep doing things I regret?

When you discover that a mistake can be turned from something unpleasant into a positive learning tool, you can move past the worry and guilt that sometimes follow regretful incidents. Take steps to heal any pain caused by the mistake. Find the lesson in the mistake by asking yourself these questions: Why did I do it? Why was it wrong? Was it my fault? Could I have done something differently? After examining the incident, decide how you can avoid repeating the same situation. Avoid dwelling too long on the topic. If you feel blocked, get the advice of someone you trust and respect. They may be able to help you see the situation from a different perspective. Once you've examined the mistake and formulated plans to do things in a better way next time, it's time to forgive yourself. Remember: Everyone makes mistakes, but the wise person learns from them.

What Is a Good Relationship?

Most of us want to have close relationships with people who make us feel loved and appreciated, yet some of us are blessed with an abundance of wonderful friends and family, and others are not. Why? Two of the most common reasons are due to factors that are beyond our control, first, the population in our community, and second, the size of our family. But, with all things being equal, there is a third reason which we always seem to overlook: our choices. Some of us stay in relationships with others out of habit. Others because the relationships fill a void. There are some who are in relationships because of family obligation or reasons dealing with guilt. Those reasons aside, the best relationships are based on sharing the highest ideals, such as sharing moral and religious values, having common interests and/or goals.

Even under the best of circumstances, a few relationships can become strained and difficult to deal with. If, over a long period of time, the situation does not improve, it may be time to take a look at the cause and decide whether that relationship can be saved, or if both parties are better off letting go and moving on.

The Behavior of a Worthwhile Friend

What is a quality friendship? The biggest difference between a valuable friend and one who isn't can be answered by a simple question: does this individual truly care about your well-being and make a practice of showing it? Behavior may be the best way to answer this question.

Think back to situations that were similar to those listed below and compare behavior.

High-Quality Relationship Review

To enjoy high-quality relationships, it is important that you are discerning when selecting who is going to be included in your inner circle. Not all people have your best interests at heart or even if they do, some don't have the ability to be a good friend to you.

It's up to you who joins or leaves your inner circle. It's a normal part of everyone's journey to run into bumps in the road. Sometimes we are able to repair relationships and sometimes we aren't. But it is always wise to let go of relationships when they are no longer beneficial to either party

Qualities to Look for in a Friend

Good friends should be: appreciative, available, calm, caring, comforting, compassionate, considerate, encouraging, fair, faithful, forgiving, genuine, generous, grateful, helpful, honest, humble, kind, a good listener, loyal, non-judgmental, pleasant, polite, positive, reliable, respectful, sincere, strong, supportive, sympathetic, thoughtful, trustworthy, warm and welcoming.

In closing, it's important to surround yourself with loving friends and family. And in return, be there for them, always showing your loved ones how much they mean to you.